IT'S *kaiser-mony's FAULT I SWEAR

- Name: SIR ULLLLLLLLRICH VON LIECHTENSTEINNNNNN!!!!!!1
- Single or taken: You can take me any time you want, baby.
- Gender: I can be anything you want me to be OKAY FINE I'LL ANSWER THESE LIKE A NORMAL PERSON FOR ONCE.
- Birthday: Somewhere between January and December.
- Sign: Virgo.
- Hair color: Who said I have hair?
- Eye color: An attractive shade of turd.
- Height: I am legally categorized as a dwarf. No joke! Can I get a handicapped sticker/tag/license plate for that, do you think?
- Are you straight/bisexual/gay?: Ohhh, baby, are you coming on to me? (QUESTION 1 WAS A LIE.)

-----------• × • F A S H I O N | S T U F F • × •--------------

- Favorite place to shop for clothes?: Wherever. As long as it's cheap, har har.
- Favorite designer?: Marc Jacobs' stuff is pretty cute, from what I've seen, even though I couldn't afford any of it in a million, zillion years.
- What is your sexiest outfit?: ....My birthday suit. OH HO HO HO. No fapping, now!
- What is your most comfortable outfit?: The greem jammies my grandmother sent me from Japan. Japanese pajamas=SERIOUSLY AMAZING
- What do you usually wear?: t-shirt/hoodie/jeans. I'm a total hobo. At home I'm even worse.

--------------• × • S P E C I F I C S • × • -------------------

- What kind of shampoo do you use?: Pantene Pro-V. God, what a stupid question. I ought to replace all the stupid ones with STUPENDOUSLY EPIC questions of my own making.
- What are you listening to right now?: The Across the Universe OST. HEEEEY JUDE! DON'T MAKE IT BAD! TAKE YOUR SAAD SONG! AND MAKE IT BETTERRRRRR!!! etc. etc. etc.
- Who is the last person that called/texted you?: Probably Maryam.
- How many buddies are online right now?: I don't know.

-------------• × • F A V O R I T E S • × •-----------------

- Food: Chocolate. And fruit pastries. I love baked goods.
- Girls names: Nami Kerenhapuch.
- Boys names: Nami For some reason I've always really liked the names David and Adrian.
- Subjects in school: lunch ART, TOTALLY.
- Animals: I love the cat family as a whole. When it comes to bigger cats, cheetahs are most definitely my favorite - I collect plushies of them and have a little ceramic cheetah figurine that I love. *loser*

----------------• × • H A V E | Y O U | E V E R • × •-------------

- Given anyone a bath?: MAYBE. Jealous?
- Smoked?: No.
- Bungee jumped?: No.
- Made yourself throw up?: I think I might have a couple of times, but only when I knew I had something bad in my stomach I needed to get out OH BOY THAT ISN'T TOO MUCH INFO AT ALL.
- Skinny dipped?: No.
- Ever been in love?: You're the only man/woman/hermaphrodite in my life, baby.
- Made yourself cry to get out of trouble?: Crying actually tends to get me IN trouble, so I try not to do it in bad situations. It's never ever helped me, haha. (Even though it seems to help everyone else. WHY CAN'T I BE GOOD-LOOKING)
- Pictured your crush naked?: I don't have to since I see you naked EVERY NIGHT Of course not.
- Actually seen your crush naked?: See above. :B
- Cried when someone died?: Oh man, that kind of thing always gets my waterworks going, even when I barely knew the person. I'm pretty sappy.
- Lied: yes OH NOT AT ALL
- Fallen for your best friend?: No.
- Rejected someone?: Haha, yes. Quite a few times, back in the day. Except for you, of course, darling.
- Used someone?: I hope not. I've probably done so inadvertently, though, since I'm a jerk like that.
- Done something you regret?: I have to confess: I'VE CHEATED ON YOU. Just once, though. I swear.

------------• × • C U R R E N T • × •--------------

- Clothes: A slinky pair of pants and a baggy old brown shirt.
- Desktop picture: A picture that some guy on dA painted. It's on my faves somewhere.
- CD in player: Probably my Studio Ghibli CD.
- DVD in player: I think it's my brother's recording of American Idol for my mom.

----------------• × • L A S T | P E R S O N • × •----------------------

- You touched: Maryam's mom; she gave me a hug when she saw me.
- Hugged: See above.
- You IMed: I think Irene? Not too sure.
- Talk to online: See above.
- Sex it up with: YOU OF COURSE Nobody.

---------------• × • A R E | Y O U • × •---------------------

- Understanding: To some extent? I try to be, at least.
- Open-minded: I'm not sure. I'd like to think I am.
- Arrogant: Yes. For someone who spends so much time hating herself I really am awfully arrogant.
- Insecure?: Ohhhh yes.
- Random?: I guess. I tend to blurt out anything that comes into my mind, which usually has nothing to do with whatever is going on around me.
- Hungry: Nope.
- Smart: Yes. I have a piece of paper that says so, too. HOW'S THAT, FREEMAN?
- Moody: Most definitely yes. I'm the most freaking moody person I know of.
- Organized: By nature, but not in practice at all.
- Shy: More like reserved. I'm really cautious with people I don't know well.
- Difficult: Yes. People who hang out with me a lot all need to be extremely tolerant and easygoing, because I'm the most obnoxious and offensive person I know of.
- Bored easily: Somewhat.
- Obsessed: Not with a lot of things, but when I do get into something I get really into it. _{lol Fire Emblem}
- Angry: More like irritable. I rarely ever get really angry. It's pretty awful when I am, though. I go on a warpath of Prejudice Extreme.
- Sad: Not too sure about this one.
- Happy: Not generally, but I guess I usually seem fairly peppy. Maybe. ~resistie told me a long time ago that I give off the impression of being "happy in a sadistic way".
- Hyper:Sometimes, with certain people, but when I get hyper I usually get down really easily afterwards. Go figure!
- Trusting: In a way, yes, and in another way, no.

---------• × • W H O | D O | Y O U | W A N N A • × •--------

- Kill?: The idiots who live in the apartment below mine.
- Slap?: That one girl I was ranting about the other day during lunch.
- Get really wasted with?: I don't think I'd want to get wasted with anyone, since I'm sure to make a complete moron of myself.
- Get high with: See above.
- Talk to offline: ~unusual-fish, maybe? I LOVE YOU BABE.
- Talk to online: Dunno. I talk to everyone I'd like to talk to online, anyway, so.
- Sex it up with: John Robinson. durrrrr

------------------• × • R A N D O M • × •---------------------

- In the morning I: angstandwoe about having to wake up.
- Love is: made for me and youuuu dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah-dah...
- I dream about: having odd, epic adventures, usually with random but highly interesting imaginary people I wish were real when I wake up. *loser loser*
- Sexual preference: ....you?
- What do you notice first in the opposite sex you're into: Hair and build.

---------------• × • W H I C H | I S | B E T T E R • × ---------------

- Coke or Pepsi: Coke all the way, man.
- Flowers or candy: Oh boy. That's a tough one.
- Tall or short: Tall, if we're talking guys. I don't want to condemn my unborn children to tragic shortness.

---------------• × • W H O • × • ---------------

- Makes you laugh the most: I laugh all the time at you with you.
- Makes you smile: My kitty. She's such a spaz.
- Gives you a funny feeling when you see him/her: Well, I never wanted to tell you this since I didn't want to hurt your feelings, but.......

--------------• × • D O | Y O U | E V E R • × •-----------------

- Sit on the internet all night waiting for that someone special to IM you?: Yes. Why don't you ever talk to me anymore, darling?!
- Wish you were a member of the opposite sex?: Sometimes. I think being a jerk would be a bit more excusable if I were a guy, haha.
- Wish you were younger: Yessir.
- Cry because someone said something to you?: Haha, yes. I'm a total wimp.

-----------• × • N U M B E R • × •--------------

- Of times I have had my heart broken: 7859078540678676068. THAT'S FOR EVERY NIGHT YOU LEFT ME FOR SOMEONE ELSE.
- Of guys I've kissed: 0.
- Of girls I've kissed: 297 0.
- Of CD's I own: A lot. Maybe 40 or more.
- Of scars on my body: A few small ones from the violent kitties I've owned over the years. They're little beasts, man.

AS A RETARDED BONUS for slogging through all of this awful crap, here's something I recorded the other day which you ToA-loving kiddoes might get a kick out of: [link]
ACTUALLY THIS ONE IS MOAR EPIC: [link]

_{hur hur i have no life}